What He Left — Step Ahead Steve

By the end of his life, Steve did not talk like a man trying to sound polished. He talked like a man trying to leave something useful behind. The notes and talks that survive from the last stretch of his life return to the same themes over and over: pray, be grateful, change your attitude, give more than is expected, take care of the people closest to you, and stop waiting for perfect conditions before you do what is right.

That is probably the cleanest explanation of the title. Step Ahead Steve was not about speed or status. It was about motion. He believed a life got built the same way a bridge got built: rivet by rivet, prayer by prayer, choice by choice. You did not become the person you hoped to be all at once. You kept showing up and put in the next piece.

"Prayer is like building a bridge. The more you pray the more rivets you put in your bridge and the closer you are to your Heavenly Father."

Build the Bridge

From his prayer talk

In his prayer talk, he finally said out loud what seems to explain both the title and much of his life. Prayer was not mood or performance to him. It was work that connected one place to another, one person to God, one hard season to the next step.

"In my personal opinion prayer is like building a bridge. The more you pray the more rivets you put in your bridge and the closer you are to your Heavenly Father."

He tied that image to the way people had carried him when he was young. A friend got him to Ricks. Somebody believed he could do better than the direction he was headed. Steve did not tell that story as self-invention. He told it as rescue.

"I am a result of a prayer of a mother or friend to get me a chance for a better life."

The Little Things That Matter

Honduras, January 2011

From Honduras he wrote one of the clearest things he ever wrote to his children about legacy. He was not trying to sound polished. He was trying to say what mattered before he ran out of time to say it.

"Our life is a blueprint for our future generation to follow."

"What are the little things that matter? They are the I-love-you's that you don't feel like saying."

"This work here is important, but it is not more important than those that I love most."

He also said directly that he had neglected some of the things most precious to him. That honesty belongs here too. The lesson was not abstract. It was apology, action, and family before ego.

His Father's Heart

December 3, 2011

One Honduras letter turns backward for a moment and shows what he was still trying to inherit.

"My dad's heart was the greatest thing about him. He would do anything for anyone if he could."

"Oh how I can just be like my dad. I pray he is proud of what I do and how I lead my life."

"Whatever we are blessed with can help others only if we will put what we know into action."

The center of that letter is not self-congratulation. It is aspiration. He was still trying to become the kind of man whose heart people trusted.

Higher Ground

March 8, 2015

One late church-blog story is only a few paragraphs long. Driving with two sons to see Alcatraz, he started toward a hotel. One of the boys told him not to go in, and Steve listened immediately.

"My son said, 'Dad, don't go in there. I have a feeling and we should leave right now.' I didn't even think about it. I said okay."

"The Spirit will guide us to higher ground if we listen to that prompting and follow it."

What stayed with him was not danger for its own sake. It was the simplicity of the obedience. His son felt something. Steve listened.

Choose Not to Be Offended

May 30, 2015

Late in life he wrote about a small ugly moment at a movie theater. He got angry, realized he was about to ruin the night for Cindy too, and used the story to correct himself.

"How can we love those that use us and are rude to us? The answer is the Savior's love."

"Go beyond ourselves and look at the person you are dealing with and realize that he is a brother or sister and maybe having a bad day."

"Just smile more often and choose not to be offended."

He did not edit himself into the hero of that story. He left the part where he was the problem too. That makes the lesson more useful, not less.

To His Grandsons

September 15, 2015

In a letter to Mikailo and Teo, his advice got even simpler. He wanted their lives to be easier than his had been, and his counsel came in short direct lines.

"Choose them wisely. Friends that do good things and not bad things. It will make your life a lot easier if you find friends that do good things."

"Always make sure your mom and dad are your best friends. Be able to tell them everything about your life, no matter how old you are."

He also told them he loved the water because his own father had taught him to love it before he even knew how to swim. Even here, legacy moved through a small memory and then straight into counsel.

Keep the Light Lit

October 29, 2015

Another late piece used a candle and children running through a house to explain attention, pace, and spiritual focus. It is exactly the kind of hand-sized lesson he liked to give.

"The Lord's light stays lit for us. He is always ready to help us relight our own light any time we are ready."

"Stop what you are doing and ask yourself, 'Do I have the light?'"

He liked lessons that could be held in the hand: a candle, a race, a question simple enough to remember when life sped up too much.

Change My Attitude

March 24, 2020

His 2020 notes are rough, almost like a private outline. That is why they work. They read like the end of a long argument with himself.

"Do I make better choices in my life? Am I an example for others to follow? What must I change? Change my attitude."

"Being generous, kind, loving and respectful."

"Generous: give more than is expected. Time, money and self."

By then he was reducing things on purpose. Not to a slogan, but to a list he could actually live.

His People

The ones he named when nothing else mattered

In his Honduras letter he named them directly. Not the mission, not the work, not anything abstract. Cindy, his children, his grandchildren, and the people he still felt responsible for. These are the people he returned to most plainly in the surviving record, and the moments below are the ones that still let you hear him looking right at them.

Cindy

His wife

"I want to thank my wife Cindy for being such a great companion in helping me live a better life."

For her 40th birthday, he built a coffin. Black balloons, black plates, black cups, black food. He wrote a eulogy of her most embarrassing moments and dyed his own hair blonde. The real party came after — she walked through the door thinking no one had shown up.

Sitting beside her at church one Sunday in a Spanish-speaking ward, he wrote: "Cindy leaned over to me and said, 'We're going to the temple on Friday.'"

After a hard stretch in 2009, when she wrote to him honestly, he wrote back: "I feel like life should be that we cannot be apart and when we are apart we want to get back together as soon as possible. My life should be your life."

Josh

Eldest son

Writing home from his mission in Chile, Josh closed a letter: "always know my family is number #1 always." Steve kept it.

Years later, at a baby blessing, Steve wrote: "He was down to earth and didn't try to fake anyone out. He wanted everyone to know how much he loved the family for sticking with him. He had no doubt that the church is true."

From Honduras Steve wrote him even more directly: "My family is more important than what I am doing here." He told Josh to gather the family together always in the paths of righteousness and promised, "I will always be your friend."

Jake

Second son

On Jake's mission, Steve visited a family Jake had baptized. They told him Jake was not the typical missionary — "and that is why he will do well." Jake wrote home: "What you have you can give me, but what you are I must become."

When Jake came home, Steve wrote: "When he came off the plane he was looking up to see if he could go back. It was a blessing to see my son after two years. I asked him if he was the best. He said no. But I tried to be the best and that is what really matters."

In a separate letter: "Having Jake home is a blessing that cannot be replaced."

Charity

Daughter

He called her Bear. He wrote to her: "Charity, you make me proud of how you live your life and the love in your heart for the family. I will always love you but you make it easy for me."

In another note he wrote: "You are such a survivor. I love you for that." Then he told her why: she was willing to keep going, find a solution, and make things work.

He closed that same note with one of his recurring lines: "Pray about it and we can always work things out. Give me a plan, as I always say."

Leilani and Briana

Granddaughters

A Christmas note Steve kept from Charity's family ends with the line: "Leilani has a wonderful Grandpa, thank you. We love you so much."

He also kept Leilani's baptism program from November 2010. Cindy gave the baptism talk, Dennis Beck baptized her, and Steve gave the confirmation.

In another saved family milestone sheet, Russell and Charity marked the next turn just as simply: they were moving to St. George and "having a second beautiful daughter, Briana Brooklyn."

Angel

Daughter

Angel earned her Young Women Medallion at the stake level. Steve wrote: "She worked hard on this deal. She had to have four projects done before she reached 18. She painted the bathroom on one. Cooked dinner for us for a month and cleaned the garage. Which was a big task."

When he drove her to BYU-Idaho for college, he wrote: "She looks a little scared but I think she will do alright."

In a direct note from 2006, he wrote: "Angel life never stays the same. I am so proud of you and how you lead your life." He told her he knew she was a good missionary who tried to do her best, and that even when life did not go as planned, she needed to stay on the right road.

He ended that same note with one of the clearest father-lines he left her: "I love you Angel so very much and will always love you no matter what."

Then from Honduras in 2012, after Angel, Luis, and Mikailo visited, he wrote: "It was so much fun having Angel here. I really can't believe how much I miss you guys and it will be great to see and hug each one of you."

Jed

Son

"Jed has been tough for me because he does not let too many people in. Today he did."

At Jed's missionary farewell, Steve wrote that Jed's testimony could "touch the souls of those that are hard to touch" and that there were few dry eyes.

Later, on the phone from the mission field: Jed said "I am sure glad you are my dad." Steve wrote: "Then it hit me."

During the Honduras mission, after a dream that frightened him, Steve wrote to Jed: "I don't want to lose you." Then came the line that mattered most: "We will not give up on you."

Teancum

Grandson

In one Honduras letter, while describing a chaotic Sunday in Spanish, Steve reached for a family benchmark without slowing down: "The last baby I blessed was Teancum and before that Tima."

Even on a mission field, family ordinances were still how he measured time.

Tima

Youngest child

In a quick family update in his journal, Steve ran through each kid in a sentence. When he got to Tima: "Tima is wonderful."

Steve saved an essay Tima wrote at fourteen. In it, Tima wrote: "My name is Samuel Tima Roper and I am fourteen years old. We as a family have been to forty-three of the states, three continents, and a lot of different countries. I play football and basketball, but I haven't decided what my favorite sport is because I like to play them both. When high school is over I would like to go into engineering and mathematics to become an architect. This would happen after I tried my number one goal, which is to become a professional athlete."

On a youth sports team roster, his nickname was "Stormin' Mormon."

Steve also kept the letter of recommendation the math department chair at Laguna Hills High School wrote for Tima.

When Josh was on his mission in Chile and got a new companion, he described him in a letter home: "It's a lot like being with Tima — he's always positive."

Mikailo and Mateo

Grandsons — Angel's sons

In a late letter to them, Steve wrote: "Choose them wisely. Friends that do good things and not bad things. It will make your life a lot easier if you find friends that do good things."

Then he gave the kind of counsel he wished every child would keep: "Always make sure your mom and dad are your best friends. Be able to tell them everything about your life no matter how old you are."

He closed simply: "I want to tell you that I really love you and you make me feel happy when I am with you."

Caleb and Ashby Grace

Grandchildren

From Honduras he wrote them silly notes instead of sermons: a joke about knights, a "balanced diet" poem made mostly of candy, and reminders to blow him a kiss outside and see if it reached Honduras.

He told them, "I pray for you munchkins a lot," asked them to make him hot chocolate when it got cold, and wanted them to remember the Polar Express.

Another note ends with the cheer he taught Grace: "We are dynamite... BOOM! BOOM! Dynamite."

Ryan

Nephew

Ryan lived with Steve and Cindy for a stretch in the early 2000s. In a letter about how Ryan was doing, Steve said life with him was not always easy, that they were not perfect, "but we try." Then he wrote: "I am beginning to have a love for Ryan that will last through the eternities."

Before ordaining Ryan as an Elder, Steve wrote that he knew he had to let go of an old hurt first. He chose forgiveness, then stepped into the circle. "Ryan had tears in his eyes as well as mine."

Sources for this chapter include Talk of prayer, the 2001-03, 2005-06, and 2007-10 family journal wrappers, the Honduras letters Little things that matter and the December 3, 2011 family letter, the March 8, May 30, September 15, and October 29, 2015 letters and blog pieces, and Talk 3-24-20. Fuller source-first versions, public source plates, and correction intake live in Book Editions.

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