At fifty-four, Steve went back into the mission field with Cindy, older than he had been the first time and much less interested in sounding polished. The Honduras letters keep the strain in the frame: fatigue, discouragement, language limits, service, work, and the decision to keep going anyway.

This chapter stays close to his own words. It follows the mission from the hard start, through the work and fear of the middle stretch, to Roatan and the way he measured whether the whole thing had meant something.

These excerpts are lightly normalized for spelling and punctuation so they read cleanly. Click any photo to open it full size. Fuller source-first versions live in Book Editions.
Steven and Cindy Roper standing at the water in Roatan during their Honduras mission in 2012
Roatan, during the Honduras mission.
Steven and Cindy Roper standing together at sunset in Roatan during their Honduras mission in 2011
Steve and Cindy in Roatan at sunset.

"If you want to give up, go ahead, but only a day."

The Hard Start

He did not hide how rough the beginning was. The first Honduras letters are some of the bluntest late-life writing in the whole project.

Excerpts

"My faith has been hit with a torpedo and there is a big hole where I thought there was hope."

"This is the Lord's church. Not the Honduran way or the gringo way, but the Lord's way."

"I need to forgive and I need to forgive and I need to forgive."

"If you want to give up, go ahead, but only a day."

"Mope around, complain and just give it all you got, but when you get up the next day, get back on track."

"I feel a genuine responsibility for the people here in Honduras to give them my best effort."

Learning to Listen

One of his clearest Honduras passages came in a sacrament talk, where the language barrier forced him into a quieter kind of attention.

Excerpts

"We do remove who we are for a moment and become quiet and still, so that the still small voice of the Holy Ghost can talk to us."

"Being here on a mission has really been tough at times, not being able to say the things that I would like to say."

"The Spirit has been very strong at times and has given me the ability to understand when I needed to understand."

"My testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel has grown to the point of exhaustion."

"Sometimes we are too busy with our own lives to stop and be reverent in life."

Giving Away His Shoes

It is a small story, but it shows the whole mechanism: first reaction, self-accusation, correction, then the lesson.

Excerpts

"I put my shoes on top of the car and someone came by and asked me for my shoes."

"I would give the shirt off my back if someone really needed it. But not the shoes I was wearing. Kind of a hypocrite."

"So I stood up, grabbed the shoes, and turned to run down the street to locate the man who asked me for my shoes."

"The look on his face was happiness like I just gave him a million bucks."

"The Savior gave all that he had and did it with a kind heart."

"I gave, but I don't know if I had the right attitude about it."

Source: July 10, 2011 Honduras letter. This same story also appears in His Stories.

Work, Fear, and Direction

Employment work, safety scares, and prayer all sit in the same frame in the September letters. He treated all of it as part of the mission.

Excerpts

"We are missionaries called to help members of the church to find jobs."

"I know this work is of God."

"I have prayed earnestly this past week and the Lord has given us a direction to follow."

"I faced my fear and I wonder why I had the fear in the first place."

"Maybe that flat tire was a blessing."

"Blessings come when you are doing what you can to serve the Lord."

The Young Men in Roatan

Roatan mattered to him because he believed the young men still had a chance if someone kept showing up for them.

Steven and Cindy Roper with Charity Roper and Russell Beck during a family visit in Roatan, Honduras
A family visit in Roatan during the same mission period.
Excerpts

"I was struck when Daniel Garay asked me to go beneath the pier and catch him when he jumped because he cannot swim."

"What trust he had in me."

"I sometimes cannot keep away the tears of knowing how much they need leadership and how much they yearn for someone to love them."

"It is because of young men like him that I do what I do by making some type of young men's program for them."

"Positive and encouragement is the best answer to allowing someone to change and do something with their lives."

The Children and the Clinic

One of the clearest late-mission letters is not about strategy at all. It is about children, gratitude, and how worn out he was by the end of the week.

Excerpts

"Friday we had 50 orphans that came from the mainland that was very special."

"Thank you to the dentist for taking care of our teeth."

"It brought tears to my eyes to be able to see the gratitude that the kids had for us."

"As they got on the bus I can still see their smiles and their love."

"I just had a glimpse of what the Savior taught about the innocence of little children."

"I want to hug them and tell them I love them and I am grateful for them."

What He Wanted It to Amount To

By the end, he kept measuring the mission against two things: family and whether the work had changed real people.

Excerpts

"What is our ultimate goal in life?"

"My ultimate goal is to be with my family for the eternities."

"Does my family want the same goal?"

"This mission has been a trial from the first day we arrived and still is."

"Roatan will be blessed forever because you gave your heart and soul to the work."

"Missionary work is a thankless job and sometimes you have no idea what effect you have on them until you leave."

"Looking back on what little service we rendered, we have realized what great effect we had on some."